I'm no longer the same person on this exact date and time as I was last year. I have grown. Learned a little more, lived a little longer... I have fallen in love, I have fallen out of love, I have cried for love, I have cried because of love... I had several "must do and have to" for the sake of love.
Somebody told me "in order to quickly forget old flame, one must quickly immerse oneself with new flame". Of course, that someone happened to want to be my "new flame". Anyhow, got over me pretty quickly when i went back to my hometown. Couldn't understand why I MUST go back for the holiday. He thought I can NOT go if I want to. Guess he still doesn't understand Asian culture, being a foreigner and all that.
Anyways, NEW YEAR 2010 today. Hmmm... After lotsa rambling, still feel nothing. It's just number. It means I have another year to get through studying. Wish I didn't feel so fatalistic about the new year but kinda hard to do that. What with the whole GST tax thing-y, oil price, royalties and the latest one I just heard on the news tonight, Christians in Peninsular Malaysia's usage of the word Allah.
I just don't understand the whole deal about the last one actually. I only have very little understanding of the law, but I thought the issue of religion should not have been brought to the court AT ALL as it is a sensitive issue and as such the Majlis Raja-Raja's the only governing body that can touch it, WITH EXTREME CARE. Hmmmm...
Blablabla... I'm rambling again... Point of the matter is actually, I'm feeling crappy and don't feel shit about anything that's to happen in this year of 2010. If the movie 2012 is to be believed, I'm never going to finish my study and get to work and buy shit.
I dunno. I guess I'm just too damn-fucking broken by last year's incidents and happenings. Wanna have peace but i guess I'm not ready to make nice just yet. Too fucking raw, the emotion inside. Shouldn't, Should have, Must, Must Not, Want, Need. They're fucking confu-damn-sing!
